April 11th, 2012: 244 days to go

As a result of a motor vehicle accident I was involved in four years ago, I live with PTSD and Anxiety disorder, along with a few other mental conditions. Many doctors have warned me about the crippling effects these conditions can and might have on me, but I've learned to not let them control my daily life.

That was before I started planning a wedding.




Maybe it's just me, but I've always associated my anxiety attacks with the "fight-or-flight" theory described by Walter Bradford Cannon.
It seems as if, in those high-stress situations (like doctors appointments or driving in heavy traffic for me), some switch in my noggin engages and I'm trapped within a sense of fight or flight. But of course, I can't fight out of my dentist's waiting room or park my car in the middle of a four lane highway. And it's this realization, I believe, that makes me panic. My brain fixates itself on a potential escape route and emphasizes my inability to achieve it. I don't know why I do this, I just do. 


Now that I'm knee-deep in planning one of the biggest days of my life, my panic attacks are occurring with increasing frequency. Arranging meetings with vendors, gathering addresses, plotting ceremony details.. the list seems to go on and on and loom over my head. It can be terrifying at times- in fact, there have been many moments that I've muttered the e-word (elopement) in efforts to avoid the whole situation.


Luckily, my fiance is absolutely wonderful and knows how to calm my nerves like no other. Throughout our entire relationship, he has shown me that I am more powerful than my anxiety. We'll make it through the planning process together, and on December 12, 2012, I will walk down the aisle a beautiful, blushing bride who has proven everyone -including herself- wrong. 

January 25th: 322 days to go

In an effort to bring some of my family's Ukrainian culture into my wedding, I've been researching lots of wedding traditions to see what we might be able to throw in to our ceremony. While I've been reading, all I can think is, "Goodness, these people are weird. Am I really one of these guys"?


Didn't see -that- one coming. 






Most of these traditions have some easily recognizable ties to wedding traditions today, but most of them just make me laugh. These are my favorites. 




#1: The Betrothal
- The day before the celebration of St. John the Baptist (also known as Ivan Kupala Day), village folk roam the forests and search for a magical flower that supposedly brings great wealth. Unmarried women are the first who are allowed to go into the forests to search, and they wear a wreath around their neck to show their purity. The young men then follow them into the forest. If a couple emerges and the young man is wearing the girl's wreath, they are now engaged to be married. 




#2: Paying the Ransom (Not as bad as it sounds, I swear)
- Before the wedding, the groom must go to his future-in-laws's house and offer a ransom to retrieve his bride. Her bridesmaids protect her from being "stolen" without a ransom. Usually the groom offers something valuable like money or jewelry for his bride, and if they accept it, they bring out a woman or a man dressed as his bride while wearing a veil so the groom can't see her face. (Hopefully) When the groom realizes it's not his intended, he asks again for his one true love, and the family demands a bigger ransom because their daughter is so valuable. Once the ransom is negotiated, the family offers the bride to the groom. 


However; if the parents of the bride meet the bridegroom at the doorstep with a pumpkin, it means that the offer of marriage was not accepted by either the bride or her parents. The pumpkin is something for him to carry, so he can't say "he left empty-handed". 




#3: Blahoslovennia (Say that one three times fast. I dare you.)
- During this ceremony, the couple asks for blessings on the wedding from their parents. A ceremonial text is read that says something like this: "As these two children stand before their own mother and their own father, before uncles and godparents; maybe they did not listen to one of you, but I ask you to forgive them and bless this union." and family members reply "Proschannia!" which translates into forgiving someone of their offenses and bidding them farewell. 


#4: Handfasting
- This involves the tying of ribbons around the right hands of both the bride and the groom for the duration of the wedding ceremony and celebration. In the 17th Century, handfasting was a way to solidify the legality of the wedding by forcing the couple to "shake hands" on the contract of marriage that they were entering into, and to symbolize their agreement to fulfill their vows. 


xoxo

January 20, 2012: 327 days to go

I absolutely love theknot.com. The planning website has dozens of helpful tools that organize the planning process, including a month-by-month checklist of tasks to take care of. As the days wind down to my wedding, I've noticed that I'm stuck at one particular task: finding a caterer and deciding a menu for our reception dinner.

Guests don't REALLY need to eat, do they?


For our wedding, my fiance and I are expecting about 150 guests. Keep in mind I've never been to a wedding, so most of my planning has been on a strict money-saving mentality since I've got nothing to go on as far as experience. When we originally began planning our wedding, I threw out the idea of a sit-down dinner because it seemed like we could save a lot of money by only serving cake and punch at the reception; however, my fiance brought up our out of town guests, how he would want them to feel special and welcomed by us as a couple, and a bunch of other things that made me instantly flush with guilt, and the dinner thing stuck. Damn.

Anyone who knows me personally knows I've been a messy eater since the day I was born. Whether I'm in the middle of a heated discussion or staring off into space, my brain always seems to slip up for one minute too long and I wear my meal. As I've grown up, my hand/mouth coordination has improved for the most part, but on occasion I have my messy moments. I probably always will, which never used to bother me until now- It terrifies me to think that on the most important day of my life, I might stain the beautiful, expensive gown I'll wear by missing my mouth and dropping a bit of food on my lap like I've done so many times before. 


So now the question is, what do we serve 150 people on our wedding night in December that won't stain my dress? What did you eat on your wedding night?




xoxo

January 14, 2012: 333 days to go

Tonight, my fiance and I baked a pie together from scratch. We've been stressed out lately (why I haven't posted like I should) and it was really nice to get a chance to sit down and talk about everything. It tasted wonderful, and I had to share the recipe with you all.

Eat your heart out, Martha.

Ingredients

• 1 (9 inch) prepared graham cracker crust
• 2 14oz. cans sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 3/4 cup key lime juice (approx. 30 key limes)
• 1 tablespoon grated lime zest

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. In a medium bowl, combine condensed milk, sour cream, lime juice, and lime rind. Mix well and pour into graham cracker crust.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes, or until tiny pinhole bubbles burst on the surface of the pie. DO NOT BROWN IT! Chill the pie thoroughly before serving. Garnish with lime slices and whipped cream if desired.

xoxo

January 5, 2012: 342 days to go

The past decade produced a series of some extremely short-lived celebrity marriages. Some of the most infamous nuptials included those of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, who divorced after a mere 72 days of wedded bliss, and Brittany Spears's wedding to Jason Alexander that was annulled after a startling 55 hours. Earlier this week, Russel Brand's attorney released a statement to the press that he may be entitled to almost half of ex-wife Katy Perry's assets... a chunk of change that could be worth up to $30 million, while Brand's original net worth is only around $17 million.

So, maybe these celebs know what they're talking about, after all.


My fiance and I are aware that the odds are stacked against us a couple who are engaged at such a young age. According to a 2001 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 48% of those who marry before 18 are more likely to divorce within 10 years, compared with 24% of those who marry after age 25. On top of that statistic, Florida has the 8th highest divorce rate in the country. I come from a family with divorced parents, which also increases our risk. In lieu of both of those tasty tidbits (and a few others), I'm willing to try whatever I can to ensure the health and success of my upcoming nuptials. My fiance and I will be going to premarital counseling at a local church, and we ask our families and peers for advice on each and every topic we can think of. We're doing all that we can, but we'll still have a long way to go and a lot to learn about each other as we get closer to tying the knot.


What advice would you give us (or any couple) to strengthen our relationship and help us make our marriage last? 


xoxo

January 4th, 2012: 343 days to go

My original plan with this blog was to write a new entry every day for 365 days. I should have started on December 12, 2011. 
It is January 4, 2012.


My name is Cassandra, and I am a huge procrastinator.


I'm also getting married on December 12th, 2012. Most people who know my fiance and I are happy about the decision we've made to take the "next step" in our relationship. I'm enjoying the planning process so far- research, budgets, phone calls, and lots and lots of daydreaming.


This blog will (hopefully) help me organize all of those dreams into the day that will change my entire life. I can't promise that I will always be concise, but I thank anyone who takes the time to read this and offer advice, support, or insight. My family is growing more and more every day, and I couldn't be more grateful to everyone who is a part of it. 


xoxo